it's hurt, i know

1st entry...

offline msg when i sign-in my ym...

shoot!!! am running out of ct. my free mins nt enough to cl malaysia(as i need more than 2hrs atleast) and am soooo broke!!!!!

used up all of the ct left to text k.far. and at 1739(malaysia).... "koko dah xda"
makin teruk mama nanging kat sini. type a reply bt.... failed. forgive me k.far. and at 1751(malaysia).... "koko dah mati yong"

nobody's online. i mean the people that i can trust and can rely on. with a few mins of free mins(another mobile) left, called office, talked to mom and..... hang-on k.far, mom is on her way.

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introducing myself...
just call me 'mama'. giler lah org muda(perasan ) bahasakn diri, mama. but i'm comfortable with it. mama bhsakn diri mama, 'mama' pd all my babies yg skrg dh cross the rainbow bridge. kucing2 mama=babies mama pd ank2 kwn2 mama pon mama bhsakn diri mama, mama. ramai ank2 mama weh...

k.far, she's my sis, lain mak, lain bapak... she's my couz, tp lebey pd adik lah... nape panggey k.far? coz her bapak is my mom's 3rd bro. mom is no 4, but she is the eldest sis. kitorg sgt2 close, mmbesar bersama. tggl pon dekat la sgt. brape langkah je jarak umah kitorg.


k.far is very special in my heart selain adik2 sndrik, yg sama mak ayah. huhu... ape ngarut.


this is the other side of me, writing/typing. i can be serious at a time but very rebellious, mischievous most of the time. mereng lah bak kta org2 yg knal mama.
mama xjudge org by their appearance/how they dressedup, as pd mama sume tu umpama 'makeup'. mama lebey pd hati budi seorg insan bernama manusia. some ppl can't stand me as i'm too honest, vocal, unpredictable. klu mama nk tego org tu kn, mama ckp je trang2, xde lapik2... tp in a good manner la ofcourse..mna 'toto-kromo' nye plak, kn. ha..n in private lah, as mama xske tego org dpn org lain yg kdg2 pd dia kita memalukn dia plaks kn. kire 1-to-1 lah. n mama open pd org yg xpuas hati pd mama. just say it. coz im just human, and we tend to do mistake. mistake tu plaks klu xditego, jd habit tau... xsedar, and xsape sedarkn---BAHAYA. mama xnk jd org yg hidup hnya dlm dunia mama sndrik.

hidup ni is a process of learning. we need to improve ourselves each and everyday.


tujuan blog nih???

mna tau, nnt mama ade ank2, mama nk ank2 mama faham mama dr penulisan mama. though mama active in yahoo360, mama nk ank2 mama tau, sume2 tuh byk gaks mama kna tapis. sbb nye, mom and ayah read my blog. that is 1 way of communication without sending emails to different ppl. penat tau. kna dlm enggeres laks tuh, as i have to update myself to my gals(european students) and friends yg ade mrata2 yg xpaham BM. udoh le enggeres mama hancor!!!

ha... lg, sbb gatal nk ada blog lain..ahhahahhahaaaaaa.... mna tau, knal kwn2 baru. mama suke berkawan, ok. xkira la sape pon.


sbnonye, secara jujur... mama skrg sgt2 sedey. ahhh... mama mmg pnyedih orgnye. ahahhahaaa....


how i wish i can be right by k.far's side and hug her, and comfort her. i want to be there till there's no more tears streaming down her cheeks. though it will take weeks, or maybe months...or year?? mama rela.

koko...
ingtn mama pd koko adlh, she's very pretty, adorable, langsi la gaks kadang2...haha.. 1 pg tuh, mama bgn tdo(mama tdo umah k.far mlm tu sbb blaja wat choc cake, pastu dh lewat, malas nk blk) and koko msok bilik... meow2 kt tinge k.far, jilat2, koko geget kaki k.far. hai laaa...mmg tdo mati btol k.far!!!

so, mama pon tanya koko nk ape... koko pndang je mama. ishh..sombong la plaks. pastu mama tnya lg... n koko mcm jwb la...meow..meow... tp sriyes mama xpham ape pon. n koko jln kuor smbil mulot dia xbrenti meow...pastu toleh blkg. mama follow laaaa.... mama xtau apa ada kt luor bilik, tp si koko dok meow2... mama mamai ok. pastu mama tnya, "koko lapar ye..." pastu koko jwb "meow..." ahahhahaaaa... comel, bkn?

mama ajak koko trun bwh, n koko jln mndahului mama...smbil kejap2 pusing blkg(nk makesure mama follow la tuh) and tros je si koko tuju tmpt mkn dia. mama yg msih mamai ckp kt koko, "haaa... lapar rupenye... mkn ye..." tp koko bising... xnk mkn. pastu koko pegi kt tupperware super besar dlm nye isi frieskies(camni ke eja?) n gesel2 smbil meow2. mama kta la..."ni kn ade lg mknn nye..." 1/2 penuh la dlm bowl dia. tp alahai...xnk dgr. mama usap2 pon dia xnk mkn. so, mama bkk tupperware tuh, isi la yg 'fresh' kt bowl koko. automatically... koko pndg mama, "meow..." and tros mkn. duhh "nk yg dlm tu gaks!!!" bak kta adik msa kecik2. alahai.... koko.

bile k.far bgn, bru mama tau, tepi tu(luar bilik k.far) mmg ade mknn koko. mama xperasan

itu kali pertama, mama pegang, usap kucing. n pertama kali, kucing gesel ke mama. mama penggeli kucing before mama 'sayang giler' and 'you are everything to me' pd kucing. and krn sayang yg tramat pd kucing, mama jd camni la skrg...


k.far, yong sayang k.far sgt. please, gather yourself, be strong. mama msih ingt masa nih...


rsa mcm it is the end of the world!!! time tuh mmg lembek... lg2 sbb tau ank2 sume sakit n mmg specialist pon kta... PTS(how cruel).


k.far sgt bertuah sbb brada di sisi koko till her last breath. it hurts, i know. lg2 bile mak bapak baru berangkat td.
smoga k.far akn tros kuat. though i'm nt there physically, ketahuilah, yong sntiasa dgn kfar.

koko is now with my precious angels... out there... free.