epilogue by Grace Nichols:

"I have crossed an ocean
I have lost my tongue
from the root of my old one
a new one has sprung"


Staying Alive, real poems for unreal times(2002)

Sunday, September 28, 2008

konflik diri

i had a dream.....

lebey pada nightmare kira2nya... tapi nightmare ni benonye adalah peristiwa kisah benar yang berlaku beberapa tahun lalu.


i cried... sampai sedu2 ok.

yup2... escapism bak kata en.Spin. mama ngaku...


the thing is, mama masih rasa 'AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH' sama seperti apa yg telah diperkatakan mereka pada mama. kerana itu juga, i push myself too hard bak kata mereka yang kenal mama (n wisau ngan mama---coz they care n cayang mama, mama tau).


mujo mama x emo lebey tgh malam tadik, kerananya, si kecik Fateh tido sebelah mama. sekurang2nya, idok le mama jadik gila macam 1 ketika dulu.


dah nak abis 1 tahun...insyaAllah mama akan teruskan plan mama.


apa mama tau i've surpass those ppl yang kata 'am not good enough'. yet, pada mama 'am not good enough myself'. i know my capability... i know i can be faaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrr better than what i am n what i have now.

mama masih blom puas!!!




~oooooohhh...am still hurt!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

budak kecik


28mins perjalanan




こんにちは。



bersama Wak Ngah



dan Wak Long




baju yang Wak Long belikan



Sunday, September 21, 2008

marah

ngape ada orang x paham bile mama kata mama bz?


meh la orang bgtau...

mama x suke sape2 call mama during office hour (tolak lunch hour)
mama x suke sape2 call tanya balik jam baper (setiap hari)
mama x suke orang x reti bahasa.


ngan Adik pon dah banyak kali gaduh sebab (refer to no 2)


kitorang bz. sangat2 bz. ada masanya kitorang mintak sape2 from unit lain tapau untuk kitorang as memang x sempat nak kuar lunch.

klu tibe2 Boss kta meeting jam 6pm, kitorang kna la stay n have meeting 2gether2 sampai la ntah jam baper. ~alaaa...Bosses pon kadang2 meeting jam 8pm, ok.

besides keje routine, mama ada tanggungjawab lain, keje lain yang dateline nya bukan seminggu atau sebulan, tapi itot jam...biasa by 4pm (klu issue naik jam 11am? hampeh x lalu nak makan tros) n kadang2 less than 2 hours, itot la issues mana tibe2 naik, kan (eeeeeeiiii... nak muntah tau! udah mama x tau nak wat, baru terkedek2 nak blaja wat)

besides routine juge, kena wat cleanup. korang ingat cleanup tu hape??? bersihkan cabinet? (mak dulu ingat wat kerja2 pembersihan cabinet) NO, BABY!!! NO!!! cleanup sesuatu yang akan membuatkan anda akan muntah darah dan rasa nak bunuh diri, ok! maka the whole team memang akan pressure yang hamat. tapi mama sekarang ubah jadik nak bunuh orang. ~cepat tue n dapat high-blood pressure la kitorang. udah cleanup ni forever n ever laks tuh! one after another.


klu ko call bnyk kali aku x angkat, tolong la paham... haishhhhhhhhhhhh.....


that's our nature of work. ~tu sapal yang dok kat unit ni sure x lama.



dah x suke... nape mama on hp? haaaa... jawapannya adalah..... bersedia sekiranya Boss call mintak ape2 masa tengah meeting (Bosses punye meeting lah).

~ada orang majuk x sudah n x nak paham ngan explaination mama sampai la ni. baper hari dah tu... lantak ko la...

Saturday, September 20, 2008

knowledge is power

suke nyaaa... arini saturday. seb baik bukan 30hb, klu x mau kna gi opis.


sejak monday dah bermula kehidupan yang reality. bz... sgt2 bz. balik lewat (jangan tanya mama buka katne n makan apa coz allergy ku datang balik abis bengkak bengkil bibir tangan...ngan rashes lagik). mama gastrik setiap hari dan paling trok semalam (almost pitam...sume2 dok gelabah kat opis).


sekarang mama paham dan mama dapat rasa nape tempat mama ni x lama orang duduk. jangankan Boss, anak2 pon sama. maka, tabik lah pada my sifu, yang dah transfer dept sebab dok sini 1 tahun 6 bulan, paling lama antara sume2 yang pernah dok unit nih.



mama dah x muat baju ni..... uwaaaaaaa...


dah, cukup pasal keje.


kat dalam komuter kan ada mende alah tulis 'push' kat tepi pintu nak ke gerabak lain. kiri kanan ok. mama kan slalu je menahan tangan dari mem'push' mende alah tuh. mama curious. untuk ape ek mende tuh? kiri kanan. slalu mama dok pandang lamaaaaaaaaa........ klu x sedar, maujadik pape sebab tangan dah start bergerak unconciously. ~mama nak tau mende tu untuk apa. sape boley bagitau mama...pleaseeeeeee.....






korang baca paper kan. tau kan pasal economy sekarang cenggana. huhuuuu... udah penat kat opis pasal keje dan mende alah nih, skalik kat umah, sedang mama baring, Angah balik dari surau (mama balik lewat lagik) nampak Baya, due2 tros dok cite pasal Wallstreet, AIG, crisis, liquidity.....
hmmmm.... mama pon x nyempat nak tepet Bloomberg news kat sini dah kan. orang balik lewat..x larat dah. korang pon boley baca sendrik, kan.
Angah, Baya, Adik... dok bentuk bulatan, ngan makanan mil-milan kat tengah dan duit pendapatan Angah kat tengah2 (sume2 tolong kira) sambil dok cite pasal economy. well, that's my adik2. from there, masok laks history n background mende alah yang ada sekarang pastu udah bancrupt, baper tahun bertahan n stuff. then masok sports... pastu music... hahahahhaaaaaaaaa.... am sooooooooooooo proud of my adik2!!!






we do talk 'bout politics tapi la kan... x syiok sebab Adik akan jadik blur, hampeh satu mende pon x tau. errrmmmssss.... jangankan politik dunia, mesia pon Adik x amik pedulik, boley?? hai laaa.
ktorang slalu cakap pada Adik dan ini untuk korang juge, memang ada mende kita x suke, benci (benci tuh) tapi tolong la amik tau. ignorance..... kebanyakan rakyat mesia adalah begini. sori to say, tapi ni fakta kan... korang memang la minat sangat klu pasal artis dan gossips. oooo... reality tv... haaa... ni pon korang suke, kan. hmmm... bukan x boley, tapi kena balance ngan knowledge lain.


mama ni pon, bukan sume mende mama tau. am still learning...




~setiap hari mama bangun sahur n makan zantac, ok... bukan mama x jaga kesihatan.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

status

"you're not reporting to them. you don't take instruction from them. furthermore, you're higher than them. you decide. think and you have to know what you're doing. again... your level is Higher. and you're a graduate, all of you (ye anak2 yang lain). i don't care if they heard me. but you're matured enough and please.... act like one. you can instruct/give orders to them, not the other way around...." and blaa...blaaa..blaaa....


hamik ko, mama kna marah ngan Boss. pastu colleagues sume pon kena marah. hikkksss... 'higher' katanya, ye.



former Boss pon pernah marah macam ni. cume dia lagik la... part grad tuh, siap point sorang2... 'degree', 'degree', 'masters', 'degree',.......... hamik.... terkedu n terkebil2 masing2.





~kna marah ari Rabu aritu. tibe2 rasa nak tanya pasal 'offer' aritu...atleast i'll be dealing ngan 'big shots' je. lalalalallaaaaaa....

Monday, September 15, 2008

"Ooooooo. What does this button do?"

korang tau kan character nih?









am annoying...


irritating......






Align Center


sama macam Dee Dee kakak Dexter










seperti title kat atas nun... dats me... tangan x leh diam, macam budak kecik. musti nak try, nak tekan/tarik/cabut (^___^)





~adik2 mama cakap, k.

Isnin

ohohohoooooo.....


arini melapor diri setelah seminggu bercoti2 bermalas2an.


arini juga mama wat Boss nak nanging, siap kena polok. heheee... ampon Boss. amponkan sayaaaa..






sedap giloss kueh lopis nih...

permintaan

ayah dok cakap yang mama ni dolu rajin masak, wat kek bagai. la ni udah lama x masak...


hmmmmm.... pk2 balik, btol kata ayah tuh.


i have this weird habit zaman dolu2... masak, baking pastu bagi kat kawan2 n jiran termasok makcik2 keypoh yang sumhow banyak bantu mama.
oooo... jiran sebelah paling dapat banyak sebab my lil Robin hood suke beno curik ikan untuk diberi kepada kakak susu n adik2 susu nya, boley??? uissshhhh... pecah lobang nape baik beno kat jiran sebelah. huahuahuaaaaaaaaaa...... amponnn.... ~mama terpaksa jumpe personally ok n bagitau pasal kenakalan n ketidak-sopanan anak mama sorang tuh. malu aiii.....
yang mak laks.... "pandai nya ckopi. bijak nya... amik untuk yang lain juge... pandai sangat...." boley? sungguh la anak2 ni dimanja oleh mak! mama marah ckopi, mak marah mama balik. boley??? haissshhhhhh.....


ok..ok...


sejak aritu, ayah dok mintak mama masak macam2. mama ni nama je coti. PEMALAS!!!


tapi berjaya gaks masak untuk ayah, apa yang ayah nak on Friday.


mama sekarang mula senaraikan apa ayah nak mama masak, n akan cobe merajinkan diri untuk masak. weekends sajork lah... weekdays ai balik lewat je selalu. mak pon ada cakap2 teringin nak mama masak itu ini...


akan ku penuhi permintaan mereka.




~paling x sempat nak wat carrot cake yg ayah dok kata 'teringin' sejak mama dah start keje. i bought carrot cake for him, tp..."kakak punye lagi sedap.." hmmmmm.... sape lagik nak poji klu bukan makayah kita, kan.



Sunday, September 14, 2008

roger...

nape la time x ku duga... txt msg masok???

buka pose umah abg Samad

sampai2 umah abg Samad tengok sunyi je..... btol ke buka pose nya hari Saturday??? mak dah ketakutan sebab mak yang amik message dari abg Samad. haiyoookkkkk....

ayah call (tapi bawak keta jauh2 sket. kang salah ari, nasib laaaa.....)


mak punye lega... huahuahuaaaa... gelak sakan kitorang. patah balik gi depan umah abg Samad balik... hikkssss... (makayah pernah salah hari gi kenduri buka pose sebelum ni).


kat dapor, ada bahan2 di bawah....
















hasilnya......





yang rajin....

Adik ku


mama almost kna ketok ngan mende alah penggelek sebab bising n sibuk. ye2... mama x bantu pape... ai buat air je :p


pastu ada tahlil sket. ngam2 orang azan selesai doa tahlil bagai. udah x de sape nak baca doa buka pose, mama ngan x malunya cakap mama lah... hikkssss... ai kan sempoi...


seb baik tuan rumah, abg Samad tros baca doa. klu x... haru anak jin ni dok baca doa.



ni dah kna tala... maka, ada la yang dah kosong pinggannya





antara lauk yang banyak n sedap gilos!!!





ada gambo yg x amik rope2nya... x pe... janji rasa sume :p



nasik mama...





abis 1 pinggan, mama tambah lauk (konon x nak tambah nasik) dan mama telah mengambil sume rebung yang ada dalam lauk rebung daging. mama amik rebung je, without daging. huahuahuaaaaa.... keje mama ngan mak. kitorang antu rebung! maaf tuan rumah dan siapa yang membawa lauk ni. seems like orang amik daging x amik rebung nya, tu yang kitorang (mama n mak) tunggu sume settle dan amik sume rebung :p


terima kasih pada tuan rumah dan couz lain serta wife korang. sedappp... mama hepi!!!




~masa makan, Adik n Saiful dok borak pasal companies, acquisition n monopoly (bukan mainan monopoly tu, ok). aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhh..... apsal mama x tau??? ignorance. ilmu x cukup!!!!

terasa sungguh kerdil diriku inniew...

Saturday, September 13, 2008

mimpi, makan, dan seangkatan dengannya

kna tinggal ngan Angah!!! uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.......


konon tido kat bilik Angah dapat la itot Angah gi jalan2 carik kain songketnya skalik. haissshhhhh....

keciwa ok.



ponin pala tido banyak.

pulak mimpi bukan2. yang paling x best, mimpi si laki miang yang dok tego mama kat stesen tuh! mimpi pon mimpi yang sungguh memualkan, sakit jiwa sampai mama gi balai polis wat aduan tuh. hamikkkk... punye aku x suke sampai mimpi pon ke balai polis. GOD!!!





verangan raya ni nak perm rambut. tapi la kan... rambut mama ni sejak dok UK habis rosak!!! rosak yang memang rosak sangat!!! mak memang ada suruh gi wat treatment, tapi mama ni haaaaa... MALAS. maka x dapek la nak tolong kan. sendrik x nak carik penyelesaian. lagipon, treatment ni bukan lagik macam2 ke dikerjakan kat rambut i nanti??? (alasan)

lepas bulan raya, mama nak botakkan pala. kira udah abis bulan raya la kan. sebabnya, raya nanti x syiok la baju lawa, skalik pala botak. huahuahuaaaaaa... dah la i look stupid n funny ngan rambut pendek, ni plaks nak botak?


plan nak potong rambut arini, tapi kna postponed dulu. petang ni ada makan2 kat umah abg Samad (couz sebelah ayah). x nak la nanti ada yang cakap "u look better with long hair" better katanya??? hikksss... mama tau la mama anggun berambut panjang (selfworship dah melanda)...sile muntah ye.
benonye... leher mama pendek, jadi bile rambutpendek, memang nampak cacat. ala2 cam babi pon ada. ahahhahahahaaaaaaa..... itu fakta.



semalam mama wat sup Tuba. ehheheeee... mama namakan sup tu gitu sebab Tuba yang masak untuk kitorang dulu. sup orang Turki. windu kat Tuba. heaven dapat makan sup tuh. tapi mama lope amik gambo. ni letak gambo zaman dolu2 yang dorang wat la ye.



sup 1 periok tinggi. yg sebelah tu mama nya plate. lotsa cheese!!! n black coffee ~sori, gambo lama



simple je... soup, pastu potato Thuy (ye2...sempena nama Thuy), salad n garlic bread. klu mama cite mama buke pose apa semalam sure korang x caya. sebabnya... terlalu banyak!!! ngan yang mama prepare kat atas, pastu mama makan nasik lauk ayam goreng, ikan goreng+sambal belacan bersama ulam2. apa kes ada salad ada ulam, kan? dah abis tuh, mama makan roti canai 1 1/2 keping. pastu, makan tempe colet sambal kicap. uiiissshhhhhh..... hmmmmm... ni btol2 kisah benar. mama makan sume2 time buka semalam.



mamanya semalam lebey pedasssss....ni Thuy wat



@2245, mama tanya Adik nak makan x. ye...porot mama laparrrrr... pastu kitorang makan macaroni n cheese. huahuahuaaaaaa..... sedap wehhhh....



pagi tadik, sahur simple je as mama klu sahur kureng sket selera, tapi kna makan sebab mama ni bukan macam orang lain, tough. mama jugek x nak kna gastrik x pasal. dah pesan sama Tini, mama nak telor goreng mata lembu (atau kerbau korang panggey) taruk kicap, sambal tumis nasik lemak mak. uuuuhaiiii.... teringat zaman sekolah asrama penoh dulu (i hate dat skool tapi makan yang ni memang suke hamat) beli nasik putih mongah2 lauk telor goreng panas2 taruk kicap n sambal tumis. tapau. sampai dorm, pergghhh.... layan!!! sedap siot!!! x perlu nasik lemak.



kat mana mama boleyu dapat makan camni kat mesia??? ni makanan Arab (ada fries la plaks eh), pastu ngan mint tea nya. sape2 tau please bgtau mama. thanx.

Friday, September 12, 2008

minyak....

korang sume memang sangat2 hepi la kan klu cite pasal minyak nih. crude io, fell 1.7% to $100.87 a barrel, the lowest since march 24. 



hmmm... aritu, mama ngan Angah dok layan tv, tengok OPEC dok 'bersidang' ngan 'penurunan' harga minyak. pape pon, dorang memang xkan let it turun n tros turun gamaknya.


yang pasti, mama setuju ngan kakFar, mesia memang dah x leh la subsidi harga minyak. susah sume... paling susah pengusaha stesen minyak. korang jangan nak banyak cakap, banyak songeh... skalik pengusaha stesen minyak x de x jual minyak... korang pk la sendrik, eh.



Bloomberg: Lehman Brothers Holding Inc.

Lehman Said to Be in Discussions About Potential Sale (Update3) 

By Yalman Onaran

Sept. 11 (Bloomberg) -- Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc. entered into talks with potential buyers of the securities firm after Moody's Investors Service said the company must find a ``stronger financial partner'' and the shares plummeted.

The U.S. Treasury and the Federal Reserve have been working with Lehman on a sale, and a deal may be announced before Asian markets open Sept. 15., a person with knowledge of the matter said. The government isn't likely to contribute money, the person said. Bankers from other firms were reviewing Lehman's books today, according to people with knowledge of the situation, who declined to identify potential acquirers.

Without a ``strategic arrangement'' in the ``near term,'' Lehman's credit-ratings may be downgraded, Moody's said yesterday after the New York-based investment bank announced the biggest loss in its 158-year history. A downgrade could increase Lehman's borrowing costs and deter others from trading with the bank. Lehman, led by Chief Executive Officer Richard Fuld, fell 42 percent in New York trading today, ceding its spot as the fourth-biggest U.S. securities firm by market value to Raymond James Financial Inc. in St. Petersburg, Florida.

``While the number of potential acquirers at this point is very few, Moody's action certainly raises the specter of takeout, potentially at a very low price,'' said Merrill Lynch & Co. analyst Guy Moszkowski in a report today. He lowered his recommendation on the stock to ``no opinion,'' saying a potential ``take-under'' makes it hard to gauge a price target.


`Nominal Sum'

Bank of America Corp. is among the possible buyers, the Wall Street Journal reported, citing unidentified people. Spokesmen for Lehman and Bank of America declined to comment.

Michele Smith, a spokeswoman for the Fed, declined to comment on Lehman earlier today. Treasury is ``monitoring markets,'' and is ``in regular contact'' with market participants, spokesman Jennifer Zuccarelli said.

Lehman fell $3.03 to $4.22 at 4:15 p.m. in New York Stock exchange composite trading. The drop reduced Lehman's market value to about $2.9 billion. Raymond James, a regional brokerage, is valued at about $3.8 billion.

``The likely solution is that someone will bail it out and at this rate it may be for a nominal sum,'' said Simon Maughan, a London-based analyst at MF Global Securities Ltd. ``The market is not going to give Lehman time to get on with its plan.''

Goldman Sachs Group Inc., the biggest U.S. securities firm, has no plan to buy Lehman without financial backing from the Federal Reserve or Treasury, which hasn't been offered thus far, a person briefed on the matter said today. Goldman spokesman Michael DuVally said the investment bank ``continues to do business'' with Lehman.


`Attractive Proposition'

Nomura Holdings Inc., Japan's biggest investment bank, may bid for a stake in Lehman, the Yomiuri newspaper cited Nomura President Kenichi Watanabeas saying last week. Michiyori Fujiwara, a Tokyo-based Nomura spokesman, declined to comment yesterday. Nomura has a market value of $28 billion.

Asked yesterday whether he'd consider selling the firm, Fuld didn't rule it out.

``I have always said that if anybody came with an attractive proposition that made it compelling for shareholder value, that would be brought to the board, discussed with the board and evaluated, and that has not changed,'' Fuld said on a conference call with analysts.

Several of the largest European banks may be tempted to buy Lehman to bolster their presence in the U.S., analyst Richard Bove said earlier this week. Ladenburg Thalmann & Co.'s Bove speculated that HSBC Holdings Plc, Europe's biggest bank by market value, could be a suitor. London-based HSBC said yesterday it was ``highly unlikely'' to buy an investment bank.


Ackermann Demurs

Josef Ackermann, the CEO of Deutsche Bank AG, Germany's largest bank, said yesterday in Frankfurt that he wasn't interested in ``parts or all of Lehman.''

Lehman said yesterday it's in the process of selling a majority stake in itsasset-management unit, spinning off real- estate holdings and cutting the dividend in an effort to shore up capital and regain investor confidence. The announcement failed to assuage investors' concerns and the shares sank 7 percent, after a 45 percent drop the day before.

Pressure on Fuld, the longest-serving CEO on Wall Street, mounted this week after talks about a capital infusion from Korea Development Bank ended. Fuld, 62, is striving to convince investors that the firm will stem losses on securities tied to real estate even as housing prices decline. He and his management team also must keep clients and employees from leaving.


BlackRock Proceeds

BlackRock Inc., the biggest publicly traded U.S. fund manager, was continuing to negotiate the acquisition of $4 billion in U.K. residential mortgages from Lehman under the plan Fuld announced, a person familiar with the talks said today.

Private equity firms continued to weigh making bids for Lehman's asset management business, people familiar with the talks said. Private-equity firms KKR & Co. LP, Bain Capital LLC, Hellman & Friedman LLC and Clayton, Dubilier & Rice Inc. may make bids valuing the unit at about $5 billion, the people said. Officials at the firms declined to comment.

The restructuring plan ``fell short of what was necessary to lessen the bear case on the stock,'' Goldman analyst William Tanona wrote in a note today, cutting his rating to ``neutral'' from ``buy.''

``A downgrade would likely force Lehman to post additional collateral, increase short-term and long-term funding costs, and limit its ability to transact with partners which demand certain credit ratings,'' Tanona wrote.


`Counterparty Risk'

Moody's said yesterday that a downgrade below Lehman's single-A rating was possible. Standard & Poor's said it was also reviewing the firm for a potential downgrade.

``There's a level of counterparty risk below which another broker-dealer is going to say, `this isn't adequate backing,''' said Michael Shaoul, chief executive officer of Oscar Gruss & Son, a New York brokerage. ``Lehman relies on being able to use its balance sheet as a currency almost. If S&P downgrades by several notches, that's the sort of thing that threatens to get things out of control.''

Bear Stearns Cos., once the fifth-biggest U.S. securities firm, collapsed in March because clients, lenders and other Wall Street firms stopped trading with the firm.

The day the Treasury and Fed brokered JPMorgan Chase & Co.'s takeover of Bear Stearns, the central bank opened a lending facility for brokerages to dispel concern that they might face a bank-run. Lehman has access to the facility.


Bonds Plunge

In addition to Goldman, Morgan Stanley, Merrill, Citigroup Inc., JPMorgan Chase & Co., Bank of America, Credit Suisse Group AG, UBS AG and BlackRock are among the biggest brokerages, banks and fund managers who've said this week that they continue to do business with Lehman as usual.

Lehman bonds plunged for a second day, leading investment- grade debt lower. Lehman's 6.75 percent notes due in 2017 dropped 16.1 cents to 72.75 cents on the dollar for a yield of 11.6 percent, or 8 percentage points more than Treasuries of similar maturity, according to Trace, the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority's bond-pricing service.

Lehman would have to post $4.4 billion additional collateral for its derivative contracts in the event its rating is downgraded two notches, according to the firm's quarterly report filed with regulators in July.

Peter Cohen, founder of Ramius Capital Group LLC, said the hedge fund is sticking with Lehman as one of its prime brokers for processing trades. Lehman is ``very different'' from Bear Stearns Cos., Cohen, the CEO of Shearson Lehman Brothers Inc. from 1983 to 1990, told CNBC in an interview today.


`Confidence Issue'

Fitch Ratings, which also placed Lehman on credit watch this week, said speculation about Lehman's woes aren't related to liquidity but to concern that it can't raise more capital.

``At this point it's an equity confidence issue,'' said Fitch analyst Eileen Faheyin an interview. ``They've raised capital over the past few quarters. Their ability to raise more equity, because the equity price keeps falling, is hampered.''

To contact the reporter on this story: Yalman Onaran in New York atyonaran@bloomberg.net.

Last Updated: September 11, 2008 18:39 EDT





~sepagian Bloomberg dok cite ni je. ironic nya "People are enjoying its failure".

coti terakhir

sahur nasik lemak ayam. sedap!!!!!!



hari ni berjaya x tido lepas subuh (buat setakat ni), x menternak lemak. huhuuuu... ye2... sume kata mama dah 'naik'. abis nak wat camne... aritu ingat nak menjalankan kehidupan sihat, sekalik tengok... ada je aral.


lepas itot ayah anto Adik kat opis, kitorang gi tesco. best weh pegi tesco ngan makayah. pagi2 xde orang. ada la orang, tapi x ramai.

time ni baru mama realized...makayah dah tua sangat. especially ayah. bak kata Boss lama mama, semakin our parents berumur, perangai mereka akan kembali macam perangai budak2. masa ni juga mama sedar, ayah pegi setiap shelves...pegang2... mak plaks asyik kata "x payah".

well...masa balik (kitorang anto barang kat kedai, then balik umah amik Tini untuk dibawa ke kedai) mama cakap2 ngan mak.
pada mama, selagi selera ada, selagi ada keingingan dan deria rasa dapat berfungsi, mama akan belikan apa saja untuk makayah. that's what i did. though mak marah, mama berkeras. kita x tau umo kita sampai bile. selagi hidup ni, pada mama... mama nak makayah nikmati apa yang ada. apa yang teringin akan mama adakan, akan mama turutkan.


tibe2 mama jadik emo gitu.



ok. lepas anto Tini gi kedai, amik ayah kat kedai n off to cheras. yeay!!!! cheque book mama dah ready!!! matik la datang x call kan. klu x siap memang sesia je. tapi so far... sejak dari mama ada cheque book, sampai abis request baru, idok le pernah mama datang x ready lagik.

kat bank tadik, mama masok skalik ngan security yg bawak duit. mak laks memang suruh mama masok dulu. skalik mama dah kat dalam mamat yang pegang senapang x bagi mak masok(halang ngan senapang gajah dia). and being me, mama pandang mamat tuh, "she's my mother" dan tros bukak pintu, hulur tangan pegang mak bagi mak masok. memang x patot mama jalan dulu x tunggu mak tadik. haissshhhh.....

mama tau tindakan mama membahayakan ramai orang gaks tadik sebab in a split second, macam2 boley berlaku, kan. mama juga pegang mak bawak masok kat tempat mama nak collect buku cheque walaupon mak ada urusan nak deposit duit. wisau laaa.... tempat kecik tuh nak di'lock'. atleast kat sebelah dalam ada tempat duduk. mama pon x nak mak sama2 ngan security duit n senapang. takotttt.....


hmmm...dah sampai kedai ni baru teringat. x beli contact lense. camtu ke eja? haisshhh..... malasnya nak kuar balik, lagi plak arini jumaat.


lapoooooo.....

Thursday, September 11, 2008

masa untuk gelabah

bangun sahur telah dikejutkan oleh en.Spin. thanx alot, Spin. untung kan mama ada kawan2 (kadang2 2-3txt masok) yang ingat untuk ingatkan mama bangun sahur. mama sayang sume kawan2 mama... big hug!!!!


ok2... pagi tadik, bangun je tros gelabah x tentu pasal.


6 bulan dari sekarang, i'll be 30. yup2... mama dah tue. 30.



i'll be 30 and i don't even have a house????!!!! OMG!!!!!!


abis laaaaa...... tak kawen tu, nak wat camne kan. tapi RUMAH????!!!




aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!


if only i stop listening to mak satu ketika dulu (x baik, kan mama nih... mana boley cakap gini). tapi masa tu mak kata, "kakak x payah beli umah. kakak perempuan. kawen nanti duduk umah husband je"

lain tau umah sendrik ngan umah husband...(macam mama ada husband je)



ohhh God!!!

kerana keciwa (ye, mama sangat2 keciwa time tuh), abis duit mama breh2 ntah pape..... masa tu kire2nya mama ni masih banyak duit jugak la kan.


aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

AM GONNA BE 30 AND I DONT HAVE A HOUSE??????!!!! my own house!!! wif my own money!!!



camne niiiiii..............(sekarang x leh nak beli, duit x dak..heeeeee... abis laaaaa)




~Angah umo 22tahun dah beli umah ngan duit yang di'earn' masa keje kat MNC.
~seb baik blaja dah abis.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

therapeutic



klu korang sume masih ingat, mama ada cakap mama mandate 2nd week of September, kan. well.... ni sekarang masih bercoti2 bermalas2an lagik mama. yosh!!!!!!


Monday--pagi2 mama dah emo. x leh stay kat umah. mama baru btol2 paham when mak x nak dok umah, tido umah n berpindah tinggal kat kedai kitorang satu ketika dulu. IT HURTS!!!


went to kakFar's. hmmm...apsal mama ni suke bebenor nyusahkan kakFar, kan.




ni la aktiviti mama masa kat umah kakFar. si kecik nih namanya Busem. kakFar pernah cite kat blog nya dulu, tapi maaf ye... blog kakFar telah di'private'kan.





best btol si kenit ni tido, kan...





4 beradik nih nak diberi kepada 'pencinta kucing'. ada sesiapa berminat? dorang ni sangat2 playful, comel..... sangat2 bijak, well trained. klu x de cat litter, mengiau panggey suruh masokkan litter tray sebab nak buang.




Busem ni kan, dah tido pastu terjaga... pusing badan...elok je pandai nak selesakan diri.









tengok ape tu Busem?






ooooo....masa untuk bermain!!!!






heippp...anda x leh bermain. mama nak bersihkan tinge kamu dulu.









amboi laaa... tau mama nak amik gambo, tros lentok je.... bijakkkk...








mama datang umah kakFAr on Tuesday as well. tapi mama datang lepas Zuhur. anak2 ni sume tido. ye laaa.... tengahari kan time tido dorang.


mama sangat2 bahagia, rasa tenang, waras.


Terima kasih yang x terhingga untuk kakFar kerana memberi mama peluang berkongsi kasih ngan anak2 yang comey ni.











~it is advisable untuk korang amik 2 ekor instead of sekor yg adik-beradik tadik, biar berpasangan. klu nak amik 4 tros pon boley. kakFar akan hantar for vaccination before bagi anak2 ni. deworm tu korg toksah wisau, sejak aritu memang dah deworm... ni ngan followup lagik. korang x yah bayar pape. cume mama minta, korang sayang, jaga anak2 ni ngan baik, ye.
interested... leave me a msg, k.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

offer? opportunity?

position dan keje nih totally different ngan keje mama sekarang (diferent field).


btol2 yang mama nak, yang mama suke, btol2 hidup mama lah klu nak cakap. again, MNC.


mama nak sangat2..... sangat2 nak!!!!! benefits banyak gilos. duit double dari yang mama dapat sekarang, x campor allowance.



satu mende menghalang. klu mama amik opportunity ni, mama pasti the whole family besar akan chop mama macam dulu. mama akan kembali sebagai pembawa anasir2 jahat x kira lah duit yang mama earn tu bukan dari hasil yang haram. mak akan sedey lagi (walaupon mak izinkan--setiap mende mama wat nak wat, mama pasti bgtau mak. mintak blessing gitu).



xleh selfish--said yes sign contract bagai, tetibe x jadik. x professional langsung!!!! (ramai budak sekarang mama dengar cite wat perangai x senonoh gini).



haruslah mama hidup macam sekarang... biarlah mama x enjoy idop mama, tambah laks ngan kesedihan yang x sudah. x pe lah....mama x nak mak sedey lagik.







~idop mama ter'trapped' dalam 'big extended family' & 'myself' forever.

Monday, September 1, 2008

productive kah?

sedang anda sume lena dibuai mimpi lepas sahur..... mama ni bersengkang mata nak settle kan sesuatu.


rasa2nya, hari ni memang x wat pape pon. akan tetapi........



huahuahuaaaaa..... mama berjaya meng'clean'kan 1897 spam/junks & unwanted email dalam inbox yahoo mail mama, 367 notification kat hotmail n 2467 spam & unwanted email kat gmail!!! huahuahuaaaaaaaaaa!!!!! sampai sakit belakang mama ni nak oiiii.... klu ada anak bagus nih, mintak picit sket bahu n belakang mama nih.


giler berzaman berchenta nak clean kan. rasa cam nak delete all, kang ada plaks yg penting, x dibaca. itu baru setiap satu email. seb baik email unt urusan P&C mama asing. tu pon ngelat, mama sort email tuh sume. hikkksssss....


lalallalallaaaaaaaaaa.......



buke pose!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sharing with you

couz mama yang kat London (PR sana) sent quotation ni pada mama. kakAtikah share ni ngan mama, mama nak share ngan korang sume!!!



Whatever you're thinking about is literally like planning a future event. When you're worrying, you are planning. When you are appreciating, you are planning...What are you planning?




Thanx Alot, kak Atikah!!! mmmmmmmmmmuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaahhhh!!! ~hugs n kisses

mimpi

kain baju raya mama split anto ke my peberet tailor, Foan Moi dan 2 lagi new tailor.

hasil dari nyonya memang x leh lawan, definitely.

tapi la kan... lagi 2 tu, 1 memang sangat2 mengecewakan!!! kain mama bagi tu cukup ok...apsal ko mandai2 tambah kain lain!!!!!

mama nanging.....



"kakak... bangun sahur...dah nak imsak" ayah kejutkan pagi tadi.



huahuahuaaaaaa....

mimpi rope2nya.


haishhh... mudah2an yang anto kat 2 tailor tu ok. mama ni sentiasa mencari tailor baru sejak dari dolu. ye laa... nyonya dah tua. kang klu pape jadik kat nyonya, menjajau mama nak carik tailor.

mama super fussy, ok bab jahit-menjahit nih. memang la orang kata, klu cerewet sangat..wat sendrik, jahit sendrik. well... suke aku la kan, duit aku sendrik. dan aku beli kain melambak dari seberang dan pantai timur dan ntah mana2 pon x mintak duit parents apatah lagik duit korang, kan. tambah lagik duit tailoring, duitku jugek. lagipon... mama ni malas nak blaja jahit baju.


hmmmm... jangan la jadik cam dulu, anto kain to this one well-known tailor... rosak kain2 ku!!! serik, ok!!!

Ramadhan

Selamat menyambut Ramadhan.


Semoga anda sume sentiasa diberkati dan sentiasa dalam lindungan Allah, Amin.