let's talk bout love

perhatian: entry ini sgt pnjg n sgt mmbosankn. entry ini dibuat unt menerangkan situasi dan keadaan sebenar, tiada langsung niat mengungkit. watak dlm entry ini mmg berkaitan ngn hidup mama dan org2 yg disebut. hiksss... pendek kata, entry ini dituju khas buat all my couz sbg 'pemahaman' n kpd readers yg lain, yg baca entry ni, sebagai hiburan di masa terluang korg. sesungguhnya, mama cube unt simplify idop yg complicated inih.

untuk sekian kalinya, perlu mama ulang... "mama di sini bkn larikn diri dr seseorg dan masalah. mama kt sini unt abiskn blaja yg xabis2 bak kta parents korg"

siapakah seseorg?

hubungn mama ngn dia 5+years, 6thn la pendek cite. my beloved bros and sis... suryana dah lupekn pon dia. ye, am getting older, tp xkawen2. tp tu xbermakna i still cant forget him. duhhh...

slama2 ni, ape yg korg nmpk adlh lakonan smata2.

all my best-closed-frens sntiasa ngn mama thru my ups and downs, sntiasa ingtkan mama tentang kesedihan dan liability yg mama tanggung (liability=relationship 6thn itulah). yup, not even 1 of them ske dia. kita panggey dia mr.E lah ye. ape yg parents korg nmpk adlh the charming anak dato' yg sntiasa spoiltkn mama.

hidup matiku unt adik2 ku ini.

sejujurnya, mama bnyk kali nk break (ke mmg break on-off) ngn mr.E. setiap kali tu gaks, mr.E ingat mama nak balik pd ex mama sblm dia (ex mama sblm mr.E 7 yrs older than mama, while mr.E cume 1yr je beza umo kitorg, dia tue dr mama lah, of course) .

sepanjang relationship tuh, mama dh lakukn macam2 kesilapan yg merugikn idop mama. only my best-closed-frens lah yg tau. family lain hanya tau, mama bodoh coz xtreat him well. lantak la korg, sbb mama pon bukan jenis nk cite menda bukan2.

wif k.far n adik

6thn mmg lama. ngape mama stay wlp tau mama xhepi? sbb kakak mr.E yg sntiasa minta mama stay. well..... mama ckp ape pon xguna time tu, lgpon mr.E sndrik xprnh nk lepaskn mama. sbb hidup tertekan n depressed... muke nye jadik tua dr umo!!! hisshhh... burok!!! maka korg jgn jdik gini, ye.

ape yg all my couz xtau, mama patot smbg blaja kt UK in architecture masa umo 21 thn. mama dh disappoint ramai org-my parents, my lecturers tmasok head of school, my beloved best-closed-frens, arwah mbah!!!
pastu mama xblaja pape ek... mama sakit sbb tpaksa lupekn 'architecture'. pastu mama blaja biz IT and supposedly smbg kt states, i mean US. tp, korg tau keadaan camne ek, furthermore ada masalah ngn twinning prog tu lah jugak, maka mama xjd smbng ke sana. n i wasted another 1 year lah. elok gaks x ke sana sbnonye, sbb mr.E ckp, dia akn follow mana mama pegi n dia laks mmg sah2 snang nk follow mama ke sna sdgkn waktu tu kitorg dh btol2 break.

dr kiri: thuy, lisa, tuba, cheryl

on my bday, yg ke brape mama xingt, mama mintak putus lah, n he said ok. masa tu mmg mama sedey xterkata, but i've had enough! mama xcite kt korg yg hari yg sama, pukul 3am+ tbe2 he called me n kta "apa kata kita tunang dulu" yg ni mmg mama hangin! sbb, 1st dia yg kta ok, then giler hape ajak tunang laks?

msa mama 21 thn, mr.E ajak mama nikah. ni mama rsa sbb dia xbg mama nk further architecture study mama lah. no... mana mama nikah ngn dia... giler!!! mode lah sgt! n korg laks akn kta mama giler sbb xtrima. even mak pon kdg2 dok ungkit kta "klu kakak kawen masa 21thn dulu..." then what? divorce??? mama pon prnh gaduh sbb mnda remeh yg xbrlaku n xmungkin berlaku.. iaitu... ape jd klu bercerai? sbb mama kta, klu ade anak, anak mama punye. mama xnk pape. ade ke dia kta, dia bg ape saja asal dia dpt hak unt ank. ok, ni mmg klakar la bile mama tringt sbb, blm ape2 dh ckp psal 'cerai' then 'anak'? korg nmpk x? mama xhepi

i was forced to smile

mama ingt, dh break, mama akn rsa lega and dpt ketenangan. tp..... satu hari, mama blk shopping, bru masok keta mama dpt call.

"akak, saya H"
"am sorry... sape ye? salah no. kot"

pastu ade la ckp2 sket, mama bgtau yg pnting je...

"saya ke punca akak ngn abg (mr.E) break?"

duhhhh.... masa tuh mmg mama rsa klu tepon tu mcm tepon doraemon, mmg mama dh masok tgn mama akn ku tampo2 itew sundal.
instead of tengking dia, mama jwb leklok...

"i have nothing to do with him anymore. what past is past. history. am happy with my new life now. please do not call me anymore. he's all yours. am quite bz right now. bye"

mama dh xleh nk kuor dr keta, sbb marah yg tramat. nk shopping blk, sriyes duit abis dah. yg peleknye, ngape mama boley ckp leklok ngn dia? cool laks tuh? mama ni memang masalah lah.. patot bahasakn je dia, ek?

hyde park, leeds

bkn setakat tu je ye.... lps2 dr tu, ade laks pmpn ntah mana2 dtg konon2 nk beli brg kt stokis mama. tp before balik smpat ckp,
"skrg saya faham ngape abg (mr.E) sgt sayang n sikit2 sebut akak"

ok, ni ape kes? tipah tertipu!!!!!

tros mama capai hp, bgtau mr.E jgn bg no. mama kt mana2 betina dia lg n jgn sekali2 brani nk contact mama lg.

xlama pastu, kwn2 mr.E laks mai dtg kunun2 nk visit mama.....

sam marah mama cacatkn gambar nih...mama ske!!!

pastu bru mama breakdown, sbb mama kesal mama rugikn masa n hidup mama n xsmbg blaja mnda yg mama sgt2 suke, yg dh jdik part of my life for a few years. mama marah sbb dia xpaham2 xreti2 n mcm xnk lpskn mama. it's really hard to move on... mmg mama prnh cintakn dia dulu... tp it's over kan...


1 of my couz laks nikah ngn adik kpd mr.E punye sis-in-law. paham? mr.E ade sis-in-law. sis-in-law ni ade adik pmpn. adik pmpn dia ni nikah laks ngn my couz. hmmm...complicated bkn? the world is so small. itu psal mama xdbenarkn ke house-warming party dorg. sorry!! n mama sndrik pon xmau lah terjumpa his sis-in-law laks kt sana. well, kitorg mmg knal sgt2 sbb dh kta relationship 6thn, ek. mama knal itew kakak lebey lama dr my couz knal sis-in-law dia lah.

mama nk kawen!!! terkedu sume ngn announcement mama aritu. hikksss...

ngape mama xkawen lg? itu mama punye pasal. ko nk tanggung majlis mama ke? pakaian hantaran sume? xde? klu x, ko diam. n klu korg nk ckp mama still ingtkn mr.E korg mmg silap. n terima kasih la ats bntuan mak2 korg yg dok nk knal2kn ngn laki2 sbg calon hsband mama ye. n terima kasih gaks kt makcik2 yg xde blood relation yg nk cube mnjodohkn mama ngn mcm2 laki


seb baik ade ank2 mama yg comey2 time tuh. ade alasan unt xjumpe laki2 ntah sape2 (ye2.. dorg dr kuarga baik2)

sbnarnye, masa mak2 korg dok cite2 nk knalkn laki ni, laki tu,... yg ade laks mmg knal2kn ke mama tuh... maaf lah sgt2. hati mama sebenarnye dh berpunya. mcm haremss je, kn? hikssss...


mama sgt2 sayangkn 'enchek'. maaf lah mama xdpt nk knalkn dia pd korg2 sume. tp i believed some of u dh tgk gambo dia kt blog mama lg satu n kt 'tagged' mama ek. itu cinta hati mama. mama ade sbb ngape xnk knalkn dia pd sape2. owwhh... bydway he's 5 yrs older dr mama.

tu laaa... blom pape lg kn... nnt klu putus lg, mrasa la mama kna kawen paksa laks nnt. huhu...

as mama mentioned before, perkahwinan ni sampai ke mati. mama xnk kawen, pastu cam kes ngn mr.E, blom pape mmg dh pk 'divorce'? nmpk sgt xsriyes nk kawen, ek. bkn xsriyes... tp dia yg xsriyes. am just a substitute pd arwah mak dia gamaknya. enough is enough la kn.


mama bkn pmpn materialistik, bkn brand concious, bkn hidop pk nk kaya-raya. call me stupid, well, itu adlh mama. msa ngn mr.E, mmg lah ape mama pegang tros dibelinya. terima kasih mr.E. hmmm...ni pmpn lain ske lah... but not me---itu pasal dia ramai gf, mama ni bini dia, katanye. abis yg lain tuh? unt mainan ke? boley?


just wanna live a simple life. ngn 'enchek' yg simple...hiksss...

he's my synergy. tp... hidup xslamanya indah, kn. lagi2 mama jauh kt sini..... 'enchek' kt sana... uhuk...

nantikn sambungannye....
ahahhahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...... (mama gelak guling2. motif?)